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Everybody has a movie clip mind set for Christmas dinner. You have your perfect family, always smiling and happy. Grandma cooks the meal and it is always scrumptious and delightful. Everybody sits around the dinner table talking amongst each other, talking about the joyous moments to come in the future. Unfortunately Christmas for me was a total bust.
First off, I would like to inform you of the drama that my family currently has. My father, who is a strong minded man, does not like my mother’s side of the family. This causes a large dilemma with the family. The always smiling and happy part of the movie, yeah we don’t really have that. Instead we have my sarcastic grandpa butting heads with my dad, who by the way is “always” right. This makes Christmas a blast!
A perfect family. I am assuming that this includes people who put on a smile and never wear a frown. My family is the total opposite. My grandfather seems to think he is a lesser figure of god. It’s his way or the highway. My grandma, she is the nicest lady, but if she doesn’t please you her world falls to pieces. My aunts are spoiled brats and always get their way. Then there is my dad, mom and sister. They believe in working hard to get what you want, a pretty different concept then my mom’s side of the family.
If there is one word to describe my grandma’s cooking, that word would be, dry. All grandmothers’ have the cooking gene, right? No! This fact is quite wrong because my grandma cooks, but the food isn’t magical. This Christmas she cooked the turkey and was quite successful. In past years however, the turkey was really dry and disgusting. How do you go wrong with turkey?
My Christmas dinner was spent at the “kids table” with my two little cousins, my sister, my mom and dad, and I. Christmas is supposed to be about spending time together and bonding. This Christmas I ate dinner in a completely different room with five other people, when there were ten other people in the other room. This Christmas was truly not the greatest.
So, this Christmas I spent time with people who really don’t get along. Even though it was not that great, I still wouldn’t have had Christmas any other way. Family is family and you can’t turn your back on that. Maybe next Christmas will be a whole lot better.
First off, I would like to inform you of the drama that my family currently has. My father, who is a strong minded man, does not like my mother’s side of the family. This causes a large dilemma with the family. The always smiling and happy part of the movie, yeah we don’t really have that. Instead we have my sarcastic grandpa butting heads with my dad, who by the way is “always” right. This makes Christmas a blast!
A perfect family. I am assuming that this includes people who put on a smile and never wear a frown. My family is the total opposite. My grandfather seems to think he is a lesser figure of god. It’s his way or the highway. My grandma, she is the nicest lady, but if she doesn’t please you her world falls to pieces. My aunts are spoiled brats and always get their way. Then there is my dad, mom and sister. They believe in working hard to get what you want, a pretty different concept then my mom’s side of the family.
If there is one word to describe my grandma’s cooking, that word would be, dry. All grandmothers’ have the cooking gene, right? No! This fact is quite wrong because my grandma cooks, but the food isn’t magical. This Christmas she cooked the turkey and was quite successful. In past years however, the turkey was really dry and disgusting. How do you go wrong with turkey?
My Christmas dinner was spent at the “kids table” with my two little cousins, my sister, my mom and dad, and I. Christmas is supposed to be about spending time together and bonding. This Christmas I ate dinner in a completely different room with five other people, when there were ten other people in the other room. This Christmas was truly not the greatest.
So, this Christmas I spent time with people who really don’t get along. Even though it was not that great, I still wouldn’t have had Christmas any other way. Family is family and you can’t turn your back on that. Maybe next Christmas will be a whole lot better.
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I was really interested in your story. I liked that about the flow of the piece. I do feel that you now need to focus on word choice, sentence variety (sentence starters and length), and advanced tranistion sets. I feel that this essay could have been edited to fix the small things that you could hear aloud.
ReplyDeleteAudience and purpose: 3.5
Format: 3
TOtal 42/50 84%
I related to your experience because I kind of also had to spend Christmas with people who dont get along. Did you read it out loud to yourself? Something that stood out to me was the part of your grandma's cooking, you described it as dry. I liked the flow of your essay, and how you focused of your topic.
ReplyDeleteI liked your story because you had a good topic. And im pretty sure no one else is going to be talking about their grandmas dry turkey in their essays. I would definatly have to say that was one of the things that stood out to me the most. I also liked your story because im sure alot of people can relate to your family. Well other then the dinner did you have a good Christmas?
ReplyDeleteI liked your essay because it was interesting. I think you couldve worked on word choice better. I related to your story because I also had to spend time with people I didn't like.
ReplyDelete